


The Battle of Pennsylvania

by lozhki



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 17:01:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30008100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lozhki/pseuds/lozhki
Summary: “Come on, Sid. Just say it. Say the one thing I need to be careful talking about and then I’ll know for the future and you never have childish conniptions about words again.”
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux
Comments: 3
Kudos: 89





	The Battle of Pennsylvania

**Author's Note:**

> Written an awfully long time ago for the sinbin prompt inspired by an *unusual* town name in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

“I don’t see what your problem is.”

“My problem is you deciding to bail at the last fucking minute.” Sid could hear Claude’s exasperation through the phone.

“I am not _bailing_ , I am letting you know we need a new solution.” Sid replied hotly.

“But our previous solution to distance worked fucking perfectly for you when it was _me_ spending my off-day driving to fucking Shitsburgh.” Claude snapped.

“That was your choice. I’m making a different choice.”

Sid could hear Claude’s exaggerated sigh and then heard him mutter what he didn’t

quite expect. “God, your fucking ego.”

“Wait, what?!” Sid felt his face heating up. They leave the personas, real and imagined, out of this.

“That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You think you’re going to get recognised if you come out to Philadelphia. You think the city, which you’ll be fucking _driving around_ to come see me in Jersey, will sense your Sid the Kid vibe in the air and start chasing your car in some kind of riot.”

“Okay, you’re being a dick and making it sound really unrealistic but actually—”

“No! You are out of your goddamn mind, Sid. _Seriously?_ I made the drive into enemy territory and I didn’t complain at all. It’s just to my apartment. You’ll be inside once you get here.” Claude scolded.

“You have a roommate.”

“Who is at his brother’s and knows enough to stay away.” It sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth. “God, Sid, I _told_ you already. I had that conversation with him.”

Sid bit his lip, absently rubbing his toe against the rug at his feet. He didn’t know what to say. If Claude couldn’t understand why he wasn’t going to make the drive to Philadelphia, then Sid didn’t know how to explain it to him.

And then Claude’s voice came through the phone, a lot more hesitant and embarrassed then before. “Unless you don’t want to see me.”

Sid knew his face was scrunching up in confusion as he tried to parse the accusation, but Claude took Sid’s silence for his answer.

“Oh fuck. Crisse, I’m an idiot.” Claude gave a kind of choked laugh. “Why didn’t you just fucking say that? Just should’ve told me this is over and I would’ve stopped arguing with you. I can’t believe I’m sitting here fighting logistics and didn’t even see I was being broken up with. _Fuck_.”

“No!” Sid felt butterflies at the relationship implied in Claude’s words—and piped up. “No, that’s not what I mean. I really want to…to see you. I just…”

He trailed off uncertainly but clenched his fist and made himself say it. “I want to meet in the middle. I want to meet in a hotel in a little town in Pennsylvania that doesn’t care about hockey and just---be there.”

Claude was silent. Sid bit his lip harder and his free hand absently clenched at his sweatpants, fingers nervously picking at the fabric. He could hear the intake of breath as Claude started responding.

“You want both of us to drive out of our way to bumblefuck Pennsylvania and be all gay in an aggressively homophobic environment and hope we don’t get recognized when we have to leave the room and get food which we wouldn’t have to worry about if we were in my apartment.”

Sid mulled over Claude’s analysis. “I don’t know what you mean by be all…whatever.”

Claude scoffed. “I’m certainly not driving anywhere if I’m not getting sex.”

Sid felt his face heat. Why the fuck did Claude need to talk about it so much? They did stuff and it felt good and it just happened.

“No, we’ll do, like, our normal stuff together but you don’t need to be categorizing it.”

“Oh, how very fucking _modern_ of you.” Claude’s scoff was so loud the feedback crackled through the phone.

Sid paused. “Just. Can we do that? Can we meet in the middle?”

  
Claude was just full of sighs today. “You’re a piece of work, you know that? Everyone says you’re obsessive and clinical about your hockey and that’s all great but this is your sex life. If you could just keep being the fun kind of anal and drop this part I’d really appreciate it.”

Sid clenched his hand again, stomach roiling at the words. “Just. _God_ , could you please stop talking like that? Let’s just meet and be like we normally are without talking about it.”

There was a silence. And then the sound of a keyboard, of Claude frantically typing. “Claude?”

“Busy. Looking something up.”

Sid paused. “Well. Looking up what?”

“Looking up a thing.”

“That’s very cryptic of you.”

Clause put on a tone of fake confusion. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that’s just how we talk now? So no specifics make anyone too uncomfortable.”

Sid pouted. Leave it to Claude to blow this out of proportion. “I only ask you to do that about one thing.”

The typing stopped. “Oh, well that’s simple enough,” Claude sounded interested. “I can do it for one thing.”

Finally Claude was getting it. “Thank you.”

“Just tell me what that one thing is.”

Sid growled in frustration. “You already know.”

“Come on, Sid. Just say it. Say the one thing I need to be careful talking about and then I’ll know for the future and you never have childish conniptions about words again.”

Sid knew he was being baited. But he couldn’t stop himself rising to it even if he tried. “Ugh, it’s the stuff that we do.”

“Hockey?”

“In…in _bed_ ,” Sid whispered.

“Oh, sleeping.”

“Claude. It’s the in bed together stuff.”

“Oh! You mean fucking.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Sid gritted out.

“You mean when I get on my knees and put your cock in my mouth.”

Sid burned, his ear pressed against the phone felt like fire.

“You mean when you strip off my clothes, throw me on the bed, and grind your naked body against mine?”

Sid would not engage. Sid would not encourage this. Sid would not get aroused thinking about doing these things.

“You mean when you rub against me and get embarrassed by your cute little noises so you slide down to deepthroat my cock to muffle your moaning.”

They were not _cute little noises_. Were they? Sid was incredibly hard in his sweatpants and his face was beet red.

“Do you mean the times when you don’t let me come from a blowjob? When you pull off to lick me until you reach my ass? When you don’t use lube, but use your tongue to get me wet for you? The way you spread my thighs with your perfect hands and press your tongue into my ass? Licking my hole until I beg you to fuck me? Use your fingers to stretch my hole for your big dick.”

Sid couldn’t stand it, he released his fist from his sweatpants and shoved the material aside to grip his dick. He cried out at the wave of relief it provided him. Claude obviously heard him.

“Are you doing things we can’t talk about? Are you touching yourself? Should I not talk about how sexy you probably look right now? When you can’t control yourself and thrust up into your own fist. You are so good when you’re eager for it.” Sid couldn’t stop the whine pushing its way out of his throat. Claude kept going. “And by it, I mean sex. You’re eager for sex. You want gay sex with me. You want my cock in your mouth, your tongue in my ass, and you want to fuck my ass until I come on your cock screaming your name. Is that right, Sid? Is that what you don’t want to talk about?”

Sid groaned. Claude’s voice on that last question had jumped back to normal from the dark, seductive tone he’d been slipping into. Sid was tightening his fist, pulling on his erection. But Claude was talking again in that fucking flat press voice he knew was attractive to no one.

“Right, so I’ve pulled it up here and Google says there’s a small town that’s on a pretty direct line on the turnpike for you so that’s where we’re going. Heads up, it’s closer to me. By several hours. And you aren’t going to complain about that because last time we were in Pittsburgh which is closer to you by _all_ of the hours. It looks like I can miss the city entirely if I hit the road right after morning skate and just do 295 over to 95 and then just meander over to Route 30 and hope for the best with that construction. Looks like I’ll be there in under 2 hours so you better hit the road by 7 at the latest.”

Sid was still hard with a hand wrapped around his dick but the effort was half-hearted. Claude had orchestrated a moment and taken it away. Sid groaned. He would obviously be able to get there on his own but goddamnit, it was better with Claude.

“Siiidddneeeeey. Earth to Sid.” Claude’s singsong voice was laced with a grin. He knew he was ruining it. “I’m going to email you the place I found. Some Best Western thing, I hope you weren’t looking for fancy. And you are making the reservation and footing the bill since this was your genius plan. You can use one of your fake code names, Mr. Superstar. Alright?”

Sid lifted his ass to awkwardly pull his sweats up and wiped his sweaty hand off on the leg. A few drops of precum darkened the material. He pulled open his laptop and made to open his email. “Yeah, yeah, I’m looking for it now.”

“When you get the email just tell me the town so I know you got the right one.”

It was with a feeling of dread that Sidney opened his email. And let out a choked sound of disbelief at the Best Western Inns and Suites location.

Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

Of fucking course.

Sid hung up in the middle of Claude’s cackle. He had a very awkward reservation to make.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments would mean the world. Besides Intercourse, Pennsylvania also has towns called Blue Ball, Paradise, Fertility, and Virginville. If any of these inspire you, I'd love to know!


End file.
